nosmoke.asp

Hidden Commands.

A guy calls tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech  What's the problem?
UserThere is smoke coming out of the power supply.
TechYou'll need a new power supply.
UserNo, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
TechSir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
UserNo way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup files and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right.
The tech is frustrated and fed up.

TechSorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
UserI knew it!
TechJust add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

UserIt didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
TechWell, what version of DOS are you using?
UserMS-DOS 6.22.
TechThat's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

UserI need a new power supply.
TechHow did you come to that conclusion?
UserWell, I called Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
TechThen what did he say?
UserHe told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.